All's not gold that glitters, Two and Two make Four

Housewives, retirees and ordinary folks who don’t know “lei-mun” from Ah Seng, are now screaming in pain because their entire life savings have disappeared (see picture above of Hong Kong protestors). They have put their money into investment schemes that their banks have promoted as offering higher interest than those of the traditional fixed deposits and savings accounts.

What they were not aware was that these schemes were somehow tied to a US bank called Lehman Brothers, and when Lehman went belly up, their money disappeared. And the sums are not a few thousand dollars, but from $50,000 to $500,000 per individual. Overall, the Singapore Monetary Authority estimated just under half-a-billion dollars were put into these funds.

And lately, newspaper columns are filled with stern sermons on the sins of the marketplace; some even made references to Rudyard Kipling’s much quoted poem, The Gods of the Copybook Headings.

In the 1940s and earlier, children in British-type schools (including those in Singapore and Malaya) practised their handwriting on exercise books. These books have pre-printed words of proverbs on top of each page for the child to copy, in order to practise their handwriting. Hopefully, the wisdom or at least some sense from these headings would unconsicously seep into the impressionable brains of the kids, so that when they grew up, they would lead sensible, productive and thrifty lives.

Kipling who had a sharp eye on world trends and history, wrote this poem after the economic collapse of the US in the late-1920s, leading to a worldwide recession. He warned of the danger in speculating in shares and related investments. From the Great Depression of the 1930s until today, the stock market has been swinging between prosperity to disaster. For the individual, however, it is better to be conservative, to work hard, spend prudently, save as much as one can, and put the money in savings or fixed deposit accounts. In other words, to follow the wisdom of the headings in the copybooks, and not the siren songs of the marketplace.

The poem is written as a ballad and meant to be memorised and read aloud. Here’s the full text:

The Gods of the Copybook Headings
Rudyard Kipling

As I pass through my incarnations in every age and race,
I make my proper prostrations to the Gods of the Market Place.
Peering through reverent fingers I watch them flourish and fall,
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings, I notice, outlast them all.

We were living in trees when they met us. They showed us each in turn
That Water would certainly wet us, as Fire would certainly burn:
But we found them lacking in Uplift, Vision and Breadth of Mind,
So we left them to teach the Gorillas while we followed the March of Mankind.

We moved as the Spirit listed. They never altered their pace,
Being neither cloud nor wind-borne like the Gods of the Market Place,
But they always caught up with our progress, and presently word would come
That a tribe had been wiped off its icefield, or the lights had gone out in Rome.

With the Hopes that our World is built on they were utterly out of touch,
They denied that the Moon was Stilton; they denied she was even Dutch;
They denied that Wishes were Horses; they denied that a Pig had Wings;
So we worshipped the Gods of the Market Who promised these beautiful things.

When the Cambrian measures were forming, They promised perpetual peace.
They swore, if we gave them our weapons, that the wars of the tribes would cease.
But when we disarmed They sold us and delivered us bound to our foe,
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings said: "Stick to the Devil you know."

On the first Feminian Sandstones we were promised the Fuller Life
(Which started by loving our neighbour and ended by loving his wife)
Till our women had no more children and the men lost reason and faith,
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings said: "The Wages of Sin is Death."

In the Carboniferous Epoch we were promised abundance for all,
By robbing selected Peter to pay for collective Paul;
But, though we had plenty of money, there was nothing our money could buy,
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings said: "If you don't work you die."

Then the Gods of the Market tumbled, and their smooth-tongued wizards withdrew
And the hearts of the meanest were humbled and began to believe it was true
That All is not Gold that Glitters, and Two and Two make Four
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings limped up to explain it once more.

As it will be in the future, it was at the birth of Man
There are only four things certain since Social Progress began.
That the Dog returns to his Vomit and the Sow returns to her Mire,
And the burnt Fool's bandaged finger goes wabbling back to the Fire;

And that after this is accomplished, and the brave new world begins
When all men are paid for existing and no man must pay for his sins,
As surely as Water will wet us, as surely as Fire will burn,
The Gods of the Copybook Headings with terror and slaughter return!

The Gods of the Copybook Headings have long disappeared in the schools. It was therefore a surprise for me to discover them in my little red pocket diarybook (see picture below).

At the end of each year, my insurance agent would give me this free diary which is convenient to jot down appointments and Internet passwords. The little red book also has a line of proverb or sensible quote printed on the right side of each double page spread. I didn’t pay much attention to the headings until I re-read Kipling’s poem, and realise the gods are alive and well, and I ignore them at my financial peril.